Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Haiku party!

I couldn't sleep last night so I stayed up and wrote a bunch of haikus. Some of them are even sports related! Enjoy. Or don't. Whatevs.

'The Gift'
A faint scent. Oder,
Wafts through the office. But what?
Oh, my boss farted.

'Carlos Beltran'
Strong arms, thick legs. He's,
Graceful in the outfield. 'Los,
Fill me with your seed.

Wise sage say: man with,
Itchy butt have stinky hand.
And that man was me.

Ring on the finger;
Postseason awards. But please,
Eli still sucks ass.

'The Analyst'
Years later, he'll be,
Known not for football, but more.
Fuck yourself, Tiki.

'The Golden One'
So young, so strong, so,
Perfect in every way. Yes,
I'm gay for D Wright.

'Allison Stokke'
Pre-jump; grip the pole.
Hold it tight. Visualize:
My dick is the pole.

Tastefully named Gregg.
He loves haikus and football,
And being a chode.

Haikus are so fun.
Very, Very, very fun.
But sometimes I lose count.

'The Beautiful Game'
It takes speed, skill, strength,
and crying about injuries.
Soccer is so lame.

They're out to get me.
Can't order pizza; they'll know.
Weed is a dumb drug.

Would you finish a,
Book you knew the ending to?
No, books are for nerds.

'A National Pastime'
Pedro views cockfight.
But it's all misunderstood.
Not birds - men frotting.

Superbowl winners.
If you don't like the Giants,
Shut up, cause you're wrong.

'Past the borderline'
Tell me if this hurts.
I'm going past the knuckle.
Oops, I felt a tear.

I think thats as good a time as any to stop. Man I really hope the season starts soon.

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