Friday, March 21, 2008

F YOU FRIDAY: Die Smoltzeepoo!

I know still no one gives a crap about my fantasy team, however, today it is relevant because I've dedicated this week's FYF to my no.2 starting pitcher, John Smoltz. Smoltz is such a tremendous piece of shit that they only way I could take him was if he slipped all the way to the 6th round, which he did, and so John Smoltz is a member of The Fuggin Sluds (my team name. clever, no?).

It pained me to do so but look at what Baseball Prospectus' Fantasy Beat writer Marc Normandin has to day about Smoltziepoopoo: "Sabathia and Smoltz are no slouches in the third and fourth slots, as both of those pitchers are expected to hit the 200-inning mark while posting low ERAs, lots of wins, and contribute solid strikeout totals. You have to love John Smoltz’s Beta score, despite his age."

Yes, BP has Smoltz ranked as the FOURTH best pitcher in the ENTIRE LEAGUE. I didn't want to do it, but I had passed on him the round before and the pick before me was Lackey and I realized this was an incredible steal so what the fuck, I can always trade him right?

Well no, after asking around for trades, everyone in my league started giving me shit about how old and crappy Smoltz is, offering the likes of Hunter Pence or Franklin fucking Morales, straight up. So now I have to DEFEND John Smoltz' baseball talents to these assholes. It makes me sick. Yes Smoltz is an aging pile of dog shit, but no, I still will not trade him for Jose Guillen. Grrr, it makes me so MAD!

You know what, fuck PECOTA and Baseball Prospectus too. What the hell do computers know? God damn robots are taking over this sport.

Anyway, here's what I want to see happen to Smoltz. Not figuratively either. I actually want this to happen to Smoltz exactly as depicted. Fucking Smoltz.

In other exciting new, cute coffee girl gave me a buy 10 get 1 free card without me having to ask for it. Oh yeah it is ON!


Anonymous said...

You are a big ZOOMTARD if you turned down a Pence for Smoltz trade, especially now that Smoltz is hurt.

You are a ZOOMTARD, aren't you?

Anonymous said...

That earlier commenter is right. Only a ZOOMTARD would turn down Pence for Smoltz. What are you, some sort of ZOOMTARD?

Bay Rat North West said...

After reading you last week I had to let Cardboard Junkie know about you. I am going to link up on my site to this one.