Friday, August 31, 2007

I'll miss you Philadelphia*

What a grand time that was in Philadelphia. Tremendous fun had by all.

OK, fuck that shit. it's over. TIME TO MOVE ON. One month left and 2 series with the Nads and the fish, and none more in phila-fucking-delphia.

Next up is the last stop in Atlanta, a series I will entirely miss as I will be on vacation. It's probably better that way, as I can save up my hatred for the final series at Shea and I have it on good authority that Mr. Rory B. Bellows will be able to pick up the slack and then some. So fare thee well for the next few days. God help us if we're not in first place when I return.

A final reaction to the last series before I go.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Mid-Trip Update

So we're almost halfway through the vaunted Phillies/Braves trip, where the Metropolitans had a good chance to end any and all hopes of anyone else winning the NL East. Moreover, I caught the game in Philly last night (the awful Ryan Howard walk-off, Rory B. Bellows wants to kill himself game).

Also- a quick sidenote on a this game... lost in the shuffle was LoDuca's overthrow in the 8th inning. With Shane Victorino representing the tying run on first base, Victorino attempts to steal second. Heilman, btw, was very quick to the plate on the play and Victorino could have easily been thrown out at second base. However, LoDuca tosses the ball into center field, thus allowing for Victorino to reach 3b. Then Rowand gets an infield single and Victorino scores. DAMN YOU, LODUCA!!! Jayson Werth then hit an infield single also (on which, btw, there may have been a play at 3B on Victorino if LoDuca didn't overthrow 2b on the attempted steal, ahh, but I digress), so perhaps I'm picking nits here, but I don't think so and LoDuca stinks!

Thus Rory B. Bellows' road trip continues. Thus far I've taken in Philadelphia and Atlantic City (I can be seen at the Trop'spoker tables with some frequency), and am eagerly awaiting the 3 game set in Atlanta. Hopefully there will be pictures to follow. GO METS! DIE BRAVES! (And now Die Phillies, too!)

Guest blog critique

1. Denis 'the penis' Rasmussen (career ERA+ 93 comparable career to Bobby Jones)

Denis starts with some Ken Dynamo bashing; some of it valid (the KSK), some completely false (I would never stoop to hawking this site to the unwashed masses of Late Night Shots. That website is so fucking gay). He then goes on to insult Mets fans with lame bigotry and a link to a 'study' that shows absolutely nothing. He then points out an obvious trade that all Mets fans would like to rescind and then complains about the Mets' supposed weaker division. He finishes off with a MS Paint of David Wright drinking from a bag of seaman.

There is some potential in his post. The attitude is good and the attempts at humor are on the right track. But Denis is sloppy in his attention to detail and his jokes poorly mask his raging insecurities. Southern California is no paradise (nor Xanadu), though I'm sure the hordes of illegal Mexicans and conniving, dog-eating Asians will tell you differently.

If Denis had come even remotely close to staying with the pro-Mets anti-Braves theme of this blog I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, but he doesn't and frankly, his bitter, cranky post doesn't deserve it.

grade: C -

2. rockyourface

I was originally just going to give ryf an incomplete and be done with it, because I couldn't understand what the fuck he was talking about, but I guess he was doing a parody of Bearleague (or a parody of he Mets game, whatever). rya suffers from verbal diarrhea, making his post interminably dull. He uses hack phrasing (changing a sentence structure from SVO to SOV does not a funnier joke make) and terrible metaphors (Beckman and the MLS? Really?). If brevity is the soul of wit, than rockyourface's wit's soul is as cold and black as his own.

ryf at least manages to comes to grip with his Mets envy and his post could pass the GMDB content bare minimum requirements. But he also constantly referred to himself in 3rd person like a huge douche. If rya trimmed is post but at least half, we may have been able to salvage something. Instead we're stuck with this traffic jam of bullshit.

grade: D+

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Just in case anyone was wondering, those last two posts were NOT written by me. A full critique of each poorly constructed diatribe is forthcoming. One quick thing to note is that I did find out that the majority of rockyourface's overwrought essay was supposedly a parody of Artie Lange's movie, Beerleague.

Yeah I didn't see it either. But Union, NJ's Artlie Lange is a comedic powerhouse, and in his honor, please enjoy these two clips from the triumph of cinema Dirty Work.

Also fuck Pat Burrell.

Monday, August 27, 2007

More bigotry and incoherent rambling by an Oriole fan guest blogger

BY: rockyourface

When Ken Dynamo first approached him about contributing a guest post to this poor, poor excuse for a blog, rockyourface was reluctant for many reasons. First, to term this blog “second-rate” would be an insult to all of the blogs out there that are actually second-rate, in fact, fifth- or sixth-rate would probably be a more accurate portrayal of this blog’s rating. After all, hack jokes and poor MS Paint skills do not a good blog make. Since rockyourface’s blogging talents are well known throughout the blogosphere as first-rate, he figured a guest post on this blog to be beneath him. But then several things happened that changed his thinking on the subject. First, rockyourface heard that this David Beckman character was joining an MLS team, so rockyourface figured if a first-rate soccer player can join a fifth-rate soccer team, then, a first-rate blogger (that blogger being rockyourface) can contribute one measly guest post to a fifth-rate blog. Second, this blog was finally listed and linked to on Metsblog, how being listed on a site run by a bunch of sweaty Italian fruits constitutes some type of accomplishment is beyond rockyourface, but Ken assures rockyourface that this constitutes some type of accomplishment and recognition. Finally, rockyourface moved out from the house he was heterosexually cohabitating with Ken, leaving Ken alone with the awful Julius Page Highbland and his partner, Buzuercher. Feeling badly about this, rockyourface decided he would contribute a guest post to help out this blog.

rockyourface’s hatred for Mets dates all the way back to 1969, when the Mets defeated his beloved Orioles in the World Series. Although not alive at this time, this defeat scarred rockyourface for your life, as it prevented the O’s from being able to fly a 1969 World Series pennant. The being said, rockyourface dutifully tuned in to watch the Mets and Dodgers game this past Saturday. The game came on at 1 am Sunday morning, which rockyourface found a little odd, but chalking it up to the time difference, he proceeded with watching the game. The game started out poorly for the Dodgers, with their pitcher, an overweight and seemingly drunk guy named Artie DeVanzo unable to find the strike zone. rockyourface later found out that the Dodgers’ scheduled starter, Dirt, had died on the field during infield practice the day before. There also seemed to be a large amount of hostility between DeVanzo and Met’s captain, Dennis Mangnelli and a large amount of trash talking ensued between the two. This made the game somewhat more enjoyable for rockyourface. DeVanzo’s inability to throw strikes, coupled with his team’s awful defensive support, allowed the Mets to jump out to a 10-0 lead through 8 and a half innings. Particularly at fault for the defensive miscues was the Dodger’s second baseman, Maz, who bore a striking resemblance to the Karate Kid.

With two outs in the bottom of the ninth, DeVanzo came up to bat against his arch nemesis, Mangenelli. As DeVanzo was stepping to the plate, a somewhat attractive woman called out to DeVanzo from the first row of seats behind home plate. DeVanzo called time and walked over to the woman and began conversing with her, it appeared from the audio feed that DeVanzo and the woman had previously been romantically involved. As DeVanzo was walking back to the batter’s box, the television audience heard Mangenelli call out to the woman “Hey, Linda, after the game, how ‘bout yous meet me in my office?” insinuating that they would then engage in coitus. Linda replied to this offer by calling Mangenelli “needle dick”. Back in the batter’s box, DeVanzo then called Mangenelli “needle dick” several times. This seemed to unnerve Mangenelli as he then gave up a homerun to DeVanzo, the first homerun hit in the stadium since the 1940’s, announcer Tim McCarver informed the audience. As he was rounding the bases, several of the Mets’ infielders slapped five with DeVanzo, showing a large amount of good sportsmanship.

As he was heading to the dugout, DeVanzo met with the rest of the Dodgers and exhorted them that they could still win the game, reminding them of how they hit four homeruns in a row against the Padres last year to send the game to extra innings where they then won. rockyourface thought this was a nice speech, but would amount to nothing, so the Dodgers had been impotent at the plate all evening. What rockyourface did not count on was Mangenelli then pissing the bed like Mr. Dynamo on a Friday night. The Dodgers reeled off 5 more runs to make the score 10-6 and had the bases loaded when DeVanzo stepped to the plate again. Mangenelli called for the Mets to employ the “DeVanzo Shift”, in which all of the field players, except for the first baseman moved to the left side of the field. DeVanzo responded by called Mangenelli “needle dick” again and then hitting a rope to right field. All of the base runners scored as DeVanzo lumbered around the bases as the Mets chased down the ball in right field. The throw home squirted away from the Met’s fat wop of a catcher, who chased down the ball and flipped it to Needle Dick, who was covering home. DeVanzo ploughed into Needle Dick who held onto the ball for the final out. The Mets won 10-9.

At this point, thinking the game over, rockyourface prepared to go to bed/commence self takedown, but then he saw that the Mets were being awarded a large trophy. Intrigued, rockyourface made his way back to in front of the television. DeVanzo yelled at Linda to get her car and then ran up, stole the trophy from the Mets and raced to Linda’s car with it. The two then drove off, leaving the Mets trophy less, much like the Cardinals did last year. Satisfied that the Mets were the ultimate losers in this episode, rockyourface then proceeded happily to his adult film.


Bigotry and dubious research from a Padre fan guest blogger

by Dennis Rasmussen

I’ve been given this opportunity to contribute to this “esteemed” blog by Ken Dynamo. As some of you may know, Ken Dynamo is the main contributor and self promoter of this blog, even stooping to posting anonymous posts on DC’s Late Night Shots with links back to just to improve the traffic statistics. Let’s not forget Ken Dynamo’s attempts to drive traffic by posting worthless comments on the Kissing Suzy Kolber comment blocks, or his recycling and mangling of stories posted as his own to KSK, again to drive traffic to the blog. Regardless of the questionable methods to improve traffic and be added to blogrolls, I have decided to contribute this posting.

It must be unfortunate to be born a Mets fan. Not only do you root for a team that will never be #1 in it’s own city, you are most likely earning a lower income, Jewish, and/or a minority. Unfortunately, market research and demographics supports this notion. Sad indeed. And then, a team that supposedly can’t hit from a Xanadu-like paradise named San Diego comes into your filthy, run down stadium and lights up the Mets pitching staff. Myself and Ken Dynamo had a discussion last week regarding Khalil Greene and his supposed awful sabermetric stats. Then he went 8-14 with 6 RBIs in the Padres/Mets 3 game series last week. Meanwhile, the Padres are benefiting from one of Omar Minaya’s more boneheaded trades when he sent San Diego Heath Bell and Royce Ring for Ben Johnson and Jon Adkins. Last I heard, Ben Johnson is giving handies down in New Orleans and Jon Adkins, in a moment of self hatred for not being aborted 30 years earlier, quit the game and started posting on GMDB as Adebisi hoping to slowly take revenge on the human race with his worthless drivel and horrendous opinions. Meanwhile, Heath Bell is the heir apparent to the greatest closer in history, and Royce Ring was flipped for a promising reliever and a flamethrowing #5 starter from the Braves. Fine work Mets. Also, the Mets lost the season series with the Padres for the 2nd year in a row, 4-2, perhaps highlighting the general strength of the NL West vs. the weak NL East. Let’s not forget the Mets get to pad their stats vs. the awful Nationals and Marlins, whereas 4 of the NL West teams have 67 or more wins.

In the spirit of GMDB, I’d like to also submit the following. What a semen eater David Wright is, or as I like to call him, the poor man’s Kevin Kouzmanoff.

Lard napkin volcano of welfare

David Wells has THE GOUT and ADULT ONSET DIABETES and he beat us yesterday. He also reached base safely on a bunt.

David Wells steals pool tarps and uses them as shirts. The good thing is that they're stain repellent too, so when 50 pounds of fried chicken fall from the cracks of his filth stained maw, they just roll right off Mount Crisco's belly.

Did I mention David Wells HAS THE GOUT?????

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Even in Korea the Braves Suck

After a hard day of playing soccer and drinking, I was please to see the Amazings on the verge of repeating as NL East Champs. Fuck the Braves! THE JETS WILL BE 16-0 THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Guest Blogging

Like any other successful blog, GMDB has legions of readers clamouring to be part of the action. Magnanimous gents that we are, GMDB will be letting a couple of guest bloggers make posts in the near future. That is, if my 2 dickhead friends who like to constantly criticize and nay-say from the back seat of their jagov chair will sack up and actually try writing some articles of their own and see how they like having their writing picked apart by assholes.

One is a stupid stupid Padre fan and the other is a stupid stupid Oriole fan. Both are uncreative bigots. Should be a grand time. I can't to see what they have in store for everyone and post their dumb shit for all the world to see.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Why I Like the Hit Dog

It seems that Mo Vaughn and his former albatross salary have become the shining emblem for the mismanagement of the post-2000 WS Mets. Yes, trading for Maurice Samuels Vaughn was a mistake (thank you Steve Phillips), but at least as big a mistake was the signing of Kevin Appier in the first place. The Mets signed a journeyman 34 year old pitcher with a career ERA+ of 120 to a 3 yr/$29.5MM contract before the 2001 season. Granted, the $34MM that the Mets ended up paying Vaughn, wasn't exactly chump-change; but my contention is that the gamble on Vaughn (who was also 34 in 2001) was a smarter risk than signing Appier. Vaughn had a higher upside, was an everyday player and really enjoys strip clubs. He also went to Seton Hall, which I find relevant.

Peavy tastes victory, weenus

B-Law loses to Peavy. Shocking. But even if Glavine does his best Traxiepoo imitation tomorrow we will be ok against Jack Germando or whatever that scrub's name is and we can take the series from the Pads. Then Peavy can pitch for us in 2009 because Sandy Alderson is a cheap skate.

Anyway, just because I love it so much, (that's right, this is for me, not you, me) here is Peavy, again, tasting weenus (NSFW - I guess).

Also Kouzmanoff sucks and will never be good.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Definite Trade

Sandy Alomar Jr. -
Relegated To Double Secret Back-Up Catcher Probation


Spider Pig -
Relegated To Whatever A Spider Pig Does

Tales From A Real ESPN Insider

In 2005, I worked for the now defunct ESPN show Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith. Being behind the scenes of a talk show that was lucky to get quite a few notable athlete guests, I was privy to seeing the sides of players not seen on the playing field, nor even while being interviewed.

While the Braves were in town to lose 3 to the Mets, Chipper Jones and Jeff Francoeur stopped by the show. On-air, they displayed the usual polite appropriateness shown by most athletes who have been interviewed hundreds of times in their careers. Behind the scenes however, I was face to face with that which I have never seen.

Jones was a fiend in the green room, rampaging through pounds of cheetos. Francoeur, being the MLB newcomer that he was, was relegated to crumb mop up duty, a responsibility that was totally unnecessary as Stephen A. was well known for vacuuming the green room himself after each show.

During commercial breaks, Chipper would walk off stage and mutter to himself, not realizing he was still mic'ed up. This is what was overheard in the control room during one such muttering session:

"Glavine...Maddux...Glavine...Maddux...Glavine...Smoltz...Maddux...Andruw...Dale Murphy..."

Braves inferiority complex much?

As for Francoeur, being under the spotlight of the New York media, he couldn't help but feel lowly compared to the Mets right fielder at the time, 15th ballot Hall of Famer Victor Diaz.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Conine the Librarian

Two scrubs for a RH bat and 1B back up.


Monday, August 20, 2007

Pay zat man heez meeonee

The state of Minnesoate has more important thing to spend their money on than a new stadium for billionaire Twins owner Abe Pohlad, so Johan Santana is probably not going to find his big pay in the land of a thousand lakes. That's fine, the Wilpons are also rich; so make like Teddy KGB tell Gramma to break off a fat wad for the man and dress him up in blue and orange.

Here is how Johan projects:

Year ERA BB9 K9 HR9
2007 2.94 1.9 8.4 0.9
2008 3.24 2 8.3 0.9
2009 3.28 2 8.3 0.9
2010 3.26 1.9 7.3 0.9
2011 3.26 1.9 7 0.9

Maybe you try and trade Pelfrey and Milledge for him this winter for an extra year of Santana and a leg up on the following winter's bidding war but either way, Wilpon should get $125m ready to disperse over the next 5 years. or$140 or 7. Or maybe we do nothing like with stupid Barrell Zito and it all works but instead of just sucking ass like ugly Baryl Zito he just breaks his arm into pieces and never pitches again. Or maybe Santana signs with the Braves and then I break his arm and legs into pieces.

That is not a threat, that is a promise. I run a Bad Newz Kennels for Braves, where they are treated exactly like those dogs, which was despicable for the poor dogs but when you substitute Braves players it is actually commendable. So expect what you read about, except for the rape stand. I leave that part out.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Recap of My First Night Back in the US

Nothing like coming home after a 9 hour flight, to unpack and watch the Metsies. Oh fantastic, they're up 5 runs! Maybe I'll just slip into bed, after all there is a 6 hour time difference and I'm a little tired.

Wait a minute... I nodded off... wait a minute...what's the score say...? WHAT?!?! F YOU, HEILMAN?!!?


After last night's buttcakery I could sure use a good weekend of Mets, beers, bros and more beers. Thankfully, the Nads hosts the Monstupulous Metsies for a weekend series, so we can erase last nights bullpen shit show from our memories, just as I try to erase the muddy bowl full of poop soup I created last night courtesy of a super-sized DQP meal from Micky D's. And what better way to erase shitty memories than with a cavalcade of frosty tall cold ones.?

None. There are none better ways.

So it's off to the fetid donut known as RFK, to pour overpriced fermented malt beverages down throat and heckle the fucking shit out of Ryan Church. Why Churchy? Well it was just a happy accident that he was playing the outfield nearest my seat when on a whim I first decided to subject him to a brutal verbal admonishment. Then I stumbled upon this fun factoid on the enternet.

Here is my favorite part:

"I said, like, Jewish people, they don't believe in Jesus. Does that mean
they're doomed? Jon nodded, like, that's what it meant. My ex-girlfriend! I was like, man, if they only knew. Other religions don't know any better. It's up to us to spread the word," Church said.

What a jackass!

Hah! That's you, Churchy, after I finish administering a severe tongue lashing, you brain-dead cock-ass!

And in honor of RFK's brosef John, here is an edumakashunal video on our favorite 21st century dead president.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Mets Pitching

Stupendous article on the mets pitching from the hardballtimes. Don't believe anything anyone says that contradicts it. That means Rocky Horror' Schoeneweis was a terrible signing, trading away Heath Bell was stupid, Glavine must retire next year and, most surprisingly, Guilleroids Mota is one of the best relievers we have. Anyone who says differently is an uneducated simpletons and I've no time to countenance their ignorant claims.

I've also no time for any more stupid bullshit about Rick Ankiel. Fuck him. Oh great, you used to pitch in the majors but then you blew it in the playoffs. Now you're attempting to be a two time loser by failing in the outfield too. Congratulations, loser. Does anyone care what Chuck Knoblach or Macky Sasser are doing these days? Next time a 28 year old Met prospect with a .25 BB/K ratio gets called up to replace a chin-pubed asshole doing a stint in rehab I'll be sure to go just as apeshit over it.

Look - Rick Ankiel needs a blow job bib because he LOVES giving BLOWJOBS.

Friday, August 10, 2007


Well that blew. But as that Kneechee guy said, "That which does not kill me, makes my seething hatred stronger."

So bring it on, fuckers. We still have 6 more opportunities to beat the hell out of the Braves, and we can still take the season series from them (2 sweeps? Why the fuck not?!?). This Ghost Rider guy may be a problem tho.

So dispite the results, it was a fun series to watch. Now fucking die, shitheads.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

It was a success of magnitude proportions

I hate Larry Jones, the chunkheaded goobag who plays for the Braves. I haven't seen him play since back in 81 or 82 or whenever, because every game played after that has been dumb as hell. I figured out a foolproof way to get a free ticket into the stadium though, I thought of it a couple nights ago when I was looking for my car keys in the toilet. Here's what you do, you get a fake cast and put your arm in it to make it look like you're some pansy ass sissy who broke his arm in a slapfight with the black guy from Designing Women. Then you put a motorcycle helmet on and bring a copy of the local newspaper from a month ago. Walk up to the ticket counter and ask for a ticket to some game that was played a few weeks ago. They'll tell you that game is over, and then you say "but it says they're playing right now in the paper!" Then, when they lean forward to look at the paper, you grab them by the skull and beat their head against the counter until they die. Then you go watch the game and if it sucks then you hunt down the manager and tell him his wife sucks in bed.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Bienvenido Atlantardos

Hi guys - I hope you are basking in the unexpected glory of last night's win; sincerely I do. As I have mentioned previously, the more pumped up y'all (that colloquialism was for you!) get, the sweeter vengeance will taste.

And just as Superman needs Lex Luthor or Lobo needs Santa Claus, GMDB can't exist without you putrid barf bags to hate on. So while I despise the braves with ever scintilla of my being, as with any good rivalry, I admit, I will miss you once you are thoroughly vanquished from this earth.

So as not to be entirely heartless, I've found this link on pegging to prepare you for tonight and tomorrow night's brutal ass savaging you will assuredly receive from the 'Mutts' (good one!).

Hope it helps.


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Jim Norton is to Subway as GMDB is to the Braves

It's time to get your hate back on. The stupid stupid braves come to shea for another big series as the pennant race heats up. The braves futile pursuit recently became more laughable as they emptied their farm to get the guy who used to draw Ghost Rider to play first base. I guess anything is better than what they had before.

Personally, I applaud Schuerholz for this move. Because it is just going to make it that much sweeter when they don't make the playoffs. I will enjoy a braves failure only slightly less than a Mets victory.

Jim Norton detests Subway far less than I hate the Braves but his hatred is admirable nonetheless." type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350">

this stupid fucking link doesnt want to be embedded so just click here, it is funny. fucking poo-tube.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Washington F's the S out of bears

what does this have to do with the Mets? Not much. But the line 'he fucks the shit out of bears' could be used as inspiration for the Mets to fuck the shit out off the Cubs, this weekend's series.

Die baby bears!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Here's how I remeber SD2K7

Friday 7pm - Airport (DCA) with enough time for 1 beer.

  • Flight delayed 30 minutes. Make that 2 beers.
  • 1hr delay - 3 beers
  • 2 hr delay - 5, no, 6 beers!

Friday 11:30pm - sitting on the tarmac waiting for my fucking delta shuttle to take off.

  • After drinking at the Gordon Birsch Brewery Ariport Bar and Lounge I am convinced my first son's name should be Bierce. Like Pierce but sounds like Beers.
  • The plane is in the air and I can finally play drunk Nintendo DS. Run you stupid Italian plumber, run!

Friday 1:30am - In Manhattan at Kahmel's apartment. Time for a quick drink at the bar then call it a night.

  • Oh wait, New York has no last call.
  • Booze in the city until 5am, including a night cap back at Kahmel's place.

Saturday 11:30am - check my messages which include a chafed Rory B Bellows informing me that I am assumed "passed out" and tickets for me will be left at will call.

  • My trek to Shea begins - Kahmel becomes a casualty halfway to Grand Central.
  • Burger King is out of burgers (seriously? Burger King? more like Burger Serf!), postponing my brunch.
  • Ride the punctual 7-train full of McDonalds and still quite a bit off alcohol.

Saturday 1:10pm - Arrive at Shea in time to thwart Magadan's oh-so-funny bet with Rory.

  • Immediately start sweating booze.
  • Jeans were a terrible idea.
  • We win. Washington sucks the dicks!

Saturday 4ish - Intermission at E-Lawn's (the electronic grass yard) apartment

  • Rory forces beer on me as punishment for my tardiness.
  • A nap would be spectacular, but there is no rest for the weary or hungover on Shea Day.

Saturday 7pm - Shea Day 2k7 in full Wreckx-N-Effect

  • Tall cold ones and ice cream sundae. YUMMMMMM!
  • I Enjoy the 11 year old kid sitting behind me explain to his mom that his booing of Mike Pelfrey is justified because Mike Pelfrey in fact 'sucks' and that Mike Pelfrey will never be a quality major league starter because Mike Pelfrey is a 'fucking piece of shit'. If GMDB ever needs an intern I'm calling this guy.
  • We lose. We sucks the dicks!

Saturday 11:30pm - Uber trendy and intra-capitalized neighborhood TriBeCa

  • Our crew meets up with the remants of a ravged party full of old friends far drunker than I.
  • Consumed by jealousy and thirst, I vow to catch up by the end of the night.
  • Success!

Sunday all day - Sunday Funday

  • Breakfast burrito and mimosas at Blockheads. YUM YUM DIM SUM.
  • More flight delays, more tall cold ones.

Monday 9:30am - back at the office.

  • Death stops by and tells me he sees a lot off potential in my lifestyle. Death encourages me to keep up the good work and that he'll see me again soon.
  • That condescending son of a bitch.

What a sweet weekend. And it only took me until Wednesday to feel like a human being again. Go beers, die liver!