Monday, August 27, 2007

Bigotry and dubious research from a Padre fan guest blogger

by Dennis Rasmussen

I’ve been given this opportunity to contribute to this “esteemed” blog by Ken Dynamo. As some of you may know, Ken Dynamo is the main contributor and self promoter of this blog, even stooping to posting anonymous posts on DC’s Late Night Shots with links back to just to improve the traffic statistics. Let’s not forget Ken Dynamo’s attempts to drive traffic by posting worthless comments on the Kissing Suzy Kolber comment blocks, or his recycling and mangling of stories posted as his own to KSK, again to drive traffic to the blog. Regardless of the questionable methods to improve traffic and be added to blogrolls, I have decided to contribute this posting.

It must be unfortunate to be born a Mets fan. Not only do you root for a team that will never be #1 in it’s own city, you are most likely earning a lower income, Jewish, and/or a minority. Unfortunately, market research and demographics supports this notion. Sad indeed. And then, a team that supposedly can’t hit from a Xanadu-like paradise named San Diego comes into your filthy, run down stadium and lights up the Mets pitching staff. Myself and Ken Dynamo had a discussion last week regarding Khalil Greene and his supposed awful sabermetric stats. Then he went 8-14 with 6 RBIs in the Padres/Mets 3 game series last week. Meanwhile, the Padres are benefiting from one of Omar Minaya’s more boneheaded trades when he sent San Diego Heath Bell and Royce Ring for Ben Johnson and Jon Adkins. Last I heard, Ben Johnson is giving handies down in New Orleans and Jon Adkins, in a moment of self hatred for not being aborted 30 years earlier, quit the game and started posting on GMDB as Adebisi hoping to slowly take revenge on the human race with his worthless drivel and horrendous opinions. Meanwhile, Heath Bell is the heir apparent to the greatest closer in history, and Royce Ring was flipped for a promising reliever and a flamethrowing #5 starter from the Braves. Fine work Mets. Also, the Mets lost the season series with the Padres for the 2nd year in a row, 4-2, perhaps highlighting the general strength of the NL West vs. the weak NL East. Let’s not forget the Mets get to pad their stats vs. the awful Nationals and Marlins, whereas 4 of the NL West teams have 67 or more wins.

In the spirit of GMDB, I’d like to also submit the following. What a semen eater David Wright is, or as I like to call him, the poor man’s Kevin Kouzmanoff.


Ken Dynamo said...

dont have the time to get into all the factual inaccuracies Dennis Rassmusen post is rife with, but i will ask a question:

how many WS did the Padres win?


rockyourface said...

I cannot say I am surprised to see that D. Wright enjoys a good ol' bag o semen, just look at his shoes!

rockyourface said...

As Mets fans and Braves haters, I thought my friends here at GMBD might be interested in the following interesting facts:

1) Chipper Jones is not the only MLB player to name his child after Shea Stadium; Barry Larkin, who also owned Mets' pitching in NYC named his daughte Brielle D’Shea.

2) Chipper Jones is the only switch hitter in MLB history with a career batting average of over .300 and over 300 home runs. Mickey Mantle, widely regarded as the greatest ever switch hitter, had a lifetime average of .298.

Just some fun facts available to us all courtesy of your friendly guest blogger, rockyourface.