Monday, August 27, 2007

Lard napkin volcano of welfare

David Wells has THE GOUT and ADULT ONSET DIABETES and he beat us yesterday. He also reached base safely on a bunt.

David Wells steals pool tarps and uses them as shirts. The good thing is that they're stain repellent too, so when 50 pounds of fried chicken fall from the cracks of his filth stained maw, they just roll right off Mount Crisco's belly.

Did I mention David Wells HAS THE GOUT?????

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