Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wow, A-Rod mania has already set in and its not even Novemeber. In fact, it's halloween, which is as good as an excuse as any post an EXCLUSIVE GMDB picture of A-Rod in an Optimus Prime costume. Well that and any mention of A-Rod will drive up internet traffic. It's true, even on this piece of shit. We still get hits from people googling for that Joslyn Morse man-woman we posted about months ago. That should be our motto: GMDB - come for the she-males, stay for the piss jokes.
My best halloween costume (since no one asked)? I wore a hospital gown and a wig. But also I had a naked baby doll attached to my waist with a fake umbilical cord and blood splattered all over myself and the baby. It's not an abortion! It's a celebration of life, dammit!!!
Monday, October 29, 2007
-Boston has one of the smallest and unimportant metro areas vis-a-vis other American cities.
-Their food fucking blows. Seriously, chowder. fucking white-n-wet poo poo chowder.
-The city lies in a region known as New England. Didn't fight two wars to break away from them.
-Stupid fucking assholes cannot pronouce their "R's"
Moreover, DC Chaz Waggle says that the waters there aren't nearly cold enough to keep him comfortable!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Actually this isn't Paul Lo Duca's costume, this is a view into my crystal ball that can see 5 months into the future when The Duke is an unemployed homeless bum because no one wants to sign his stupid ass to whine and moan and hit 87 OPS+ for the year like a stupid jack ass and he has also blown all of his money on horsies and 19 year old prostitutes so now he lives on the street and east rat burgers for dinner like the rebels from Demolition Man that elected Dennis Leary as their leader because they are all stupid morons just like Paul Big Fat Fucking Pud Lo Duca.
Judging from this tremendous article from HBT, however, the Mets are in all likelihood screwed at catcher next year no matter what they do. No good free agents and nothing on the farm. So trade for a Ramon Hernandez? Eh, considering everybody who doesn't employ Russell Martin or Brian McCann will be screwed in the NL as well, I'd say just go with Castro and figure something out later. We won't be at a huge disadvantage and then we can at least say we gave Castro a legit shot.
Just as long as that stupid asshole isn't back, that stupid jerk of a scumbag.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Quoth Goldman: "Gomez is a pinch-runner. He's never going to hit well enough to play despite the fact that his legs make him capable of making the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs."
To which I replied: "But can he bulls-eye a womp rat back home in his T-16?"
That reminds me of the time I was chatting it up with some Storm Trooper.
Haha! What fun!
So anybody else notice what a fucking moron Tim McCarver is? Yes, many people. What a fucking nincompoop! Why, he's a regular Jar Jar Binks!
Monday, October 15, 2007
In other news that we are later to getting to than Bridget Moynahan's period after she got dumped by Tom Brady (even the jokes are old, LOL), Dusty Baker is the new Reds manager. This is good news for two reasons. 1) no longer having to listen to baker's stupid blather during Baseball Tonight and 2) if the Reds' front office is stupid enough to hire Baker maybe they are also stupid enough not to pick up Adam's Dunn $13m club option for '08.
Is Dunn a perfect fit for the Mets? No. Can he fucking mash? Yes. If you can get him, do it. Figure out the details later. The only draw back to getting Dunn is it makes Alou expandable and that means less urine jokes. Looks like someone else had better step it up start pissing themselves.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
I do not want to see this miserable little jagov near the Mets next year. If Omar signs him I will heckle him every game. I do not care if he will be wearing a Mets uniform. This is where I draw the line.
Oh but he can hit in the 2 hole and has grit and hustle and blah blah fucking blah.
FUCK YOU AND THE FUCKING 2 HOLE.
the second spot in the line up is not some excuse to put your shittiest hitter high up in the line to reward him for sprinting to first after walks. FUCK THAT SHIT.
Obligatory FJM link because they crush tiny stupid asshole eckstein way better than even I, the insult master.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Paul Lo Duca has gone on the record and stated that he wants to resign with the Mets and remain their starting catcher in 2008. Big Pud recently had a conversation with Mets GM Omar Minaya about the possibility of returning and GMDB has the exclusive transcript of that dialog.
Omar Minya: Hello Paul.
Big Pud: Hello Omar.
BP: Thats right.
BP: Because I represent all the great qualities in a man that Mets fans admire.
BP: I'm a native Brooklynite for one.
OM: Well you were born in Brooklyn, but didn't you grow up and go to college in
BP: Well, sure I moved to
BP: I love horses.
BP: More like 4th grade.
BP: I love the
BP: Thats right, I'm banging playmates and teen hottties! Who wouldn't want that life?
BP: I never strike out. Can't strike out PLD, like ever! I only make 'productive' outs!
BP: Sorry, I didn't realize you were looking for a computer to play catcher for you. Look, I've got grit and hustle and VERVE! What do you think wins championships?
BP: Fine, you want me to use my trump card, well how about this: I'm ITALIAN.
BP: I have no idea what you're saying, man.
BP: But Omar! What will I do? Where will I go? Who will give me a job?
Our GMDB exclusive doesn't end there. We recently sat down with PLD ourselves and got his thoughts about a number of topics. His provocative and perhaps controversial responses can be found below.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Good luck Rollins, you piece of shit. I hope you fall into a pit of lava on your way home. Drown in piss and die.