Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Big Pud just wants to hang out... NO BIG DEAL

Pity Big Pud. He was a man custom made for the fast times and carnal pleasures of the Big Apple. But instead of hanging with their bros, the Mets were too busy laming it up in the suburbs like a bunch of chumps.

Barry Svrluga of the WaPo has Big Pud's latest gripes about life with the Mets.

"This is kind of like going back to the minor leagues for me," Lo Duca said. "Guys hang out, have a couple of beers, and talk about baseball. It's not everyone living 30 minutes away from the park and never seeing each other."

Awww, no one wanted to come in to the city to knock back a few tall cold ones with everyone's favorites degenerate gambler. Hmm... maybe its because your fucking clown shoes, Paulie.

My other favorite part of that article was Svrluga describing how much time and effort Big Pud put into making the chart for the Nationals NCAA tournament pool by hand. After hanging up the over-elaborate chart on the wall, Manny Acta came over to Lo Duca and said, "Hey, Paulie, that's great, but you know we all signed up on CBSsports.com . It's got real time game updates and it automatically tabulates our scores. Theres even a message board where we can talk trash to each other!"

After hearing this Lo Duca got real sad. "Hey don't feel bad, Paulie," Manny said, "What you did is great. I mean, it's real... um... hey look, a red car!" And then Manny pointed a red car going by the clubhouse and Lo Duca started clapping and yelling, "Oooooh! Red car! Red car! Red Car!"

But don't worry about Big Pud, he's got a great future carved out for him when his baseball days are over.

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