Monday, April 28, 2008

Monday Twofer: F U Clemens and pumpitude

The spirit of GMDB has never cared much for deadlines, and so once again I am late getting the FU Friday out. So enjoy another twofer and this totally unspurprising story about Roger Clemens being the abject lowlife that he is.

Is there no end to Clemens moral decrepitude? Actually yes, when God finally decides he has punished the rest of humanity enough and snuffs Clemens' mortal soul, his unholy rampage on earth will finally end. The fact that Clemens is currently our of baseball isn't enough. This man is a cancer to society, and the sooner we are rid of him the better. Short of soliciting his outright murder, I recommends exiling Clemens to Borneo. On second thought, that would be unfair to the innocent inhabitants of the South East Asian jungle isle. Better that Clemens just be sent directly to hell.

Am I being a little harsh? Perhaps. Maybe Clemens should have thought about this before attempting murder himself by winging a broken bat at Piazza in the 2000 World Series. This kind of behavior doesn't help his cause out either (NSFW).

Ugh, I feel sick just having thought about that miserable waste of sperm and egg. Let us refocus on the beating we administered the Atlanta Bravos by winning the latest series and celebrate the triumph by rocking out to some motherfucking Clutch.

Holy shit that was awesome. Lets do another one.

Fuck yeah, baby.

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