Sunday, July 29, 2007

Shea Day

Shea Day 2007

Dave Magadan - present
Rory B. Bellows - present
Ken Dynamo - uh, recovering from the previous evening. A little bit tardy.

10:35a.m. - Magadan and Bellows meet up and hop on the 7 train (aka the John Rocker train filled with some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids)

12:07p.m. - Mets take the field. The ball boy goes into the locker room to alert Rickey Henderson to put his shirt on and stop looking in the mirror

12:08 - Bellows offers 1:15 as the over/under for when Dynamo gets to his seat. Magadan takes the over.

12:10 - El Duque takes the mound, and celebrates his 86th birthday

12:14 - Gotay misses a catchable pop up at deep 2nd base, breaking El Duque's perfect game and no hitter.

12:25 - Magadan feels horribly for the 4 year old girl sitting in front of him, as the girl is dressed in shorts and a tank top and will surely get burned by the beating sun before game's end.

12:26 - Magadan mentions the same sun issue regarding Bellows' own unprotected epidermal layer. Bellows challenges the sun to a duel and then insults its mom.

1:10 - Ken Dynamo finally shows up to the stadium 3 innings late, rendering Magadan's prediction of "over 1:15" to be wrong, barely. The sweat evaporating from Dynamo's body registers a BAC level of .25.

2:30 - stuff happens

3:44 - Mets win, duh

3:46 - Rickey Henderson takes a victory lap around the stadium - gives post game interviews to Bob from Brooklyn and Steve from Long Island, two guys who were sitting in the Pepsi picnic area. Rickey offers to autograph Bob and Steve's baseball. They decline.

7:10 - Mets take the field for game 2 of the day. Dynamo watches Paul Lo Duca warm up Pelfrey and ponders whether he has ever had more disapproval of a pitcher/catcher battery in Mets history.

7:35 - Dynamo consumes 38th beer of day. Raises BAC level to .45

8:41 - Magadan says "hello" to Bellows' friend thus ensuring for the 3rd consecutive day he talks to at least one female.

8:59 - While the Nats' pitcher warms up between innings, Rickey takes off from the 1st base coaches box stealing 2nd. The umpire calls him out. Rickey picks the base up out of the ground raising it in the air. Security removes Henderson from the field, and El Duque comes in to coach first. El Duque becomes the first person in MLB history to pitch, pinch run, coach 1st and turn 86 on the same day.

10:15 - Tom Glavine pinch the 9th inning...down by 1...with at least 2 more Mets pinch hitters left on the bench.

10:19 - Game over. I didn't really pay attention to who won.

1:31a.m. - Later at the bar, Bellows pours beer on dude's shoe, on purpose.

2:45 - Dynamo BAC - 94%

4:21 - Dynamo fills paramedics' IV tube with Jaeger and hooks self up

4:55 - Thank you and good morning


Rory B. Bellows said...

Booo! You didn't even come CLOSE to doing the shoe-beer-pouring story justice. My friend from college, Tim, was in town. We realize there is a private party for people we went to college with upstairs in the bar. we crash said party and realize it's a going-away party for a guy we didn't like, Joe.

So- Tim and I go up to Joe and Tim accidentally spills his beer on Joe. Joe gets pissed. I say, "Oh- don't sweat it, I'll even 'em up for you," and poured my beer on his other shoe. BOOYAH! Don't F with my friends!

Rory B. Bellows said...

Pictures and accompanying dialogue to follow shortly.

Ken Dynamo said...

i also take slight umbrage with some of your "facts".

also, what is BAC? like BACON?

Dave Magadan said...

I didn't do the beer pouring story justice because 1. it's your story, 2. I wasn't even there, 3. where the fuck are you two's minute by minutes already

BAC = equal blood alcohol content, or yeah, bacon

Ken Dynamo said...

you really know how to turn me on with that dirty talk mr. magadan.

boss just left for the whole morning - recap coming up.