Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Do the Mets 2007 All Stars deserve to be there?

Now that it's mid-summer classic time, lets do a run down of the all the Mets on the 2007 ASG roster.
LaRussa, drunk on life, thinks the all-star game is a showcase for failed starters and picks about a dozen relivers, included Billy Vagner. Vagner is having a great year so far but relivers get exactly as much respect as they deserve, which is not much, so I'm skipping the analysis.

Carlos Beltran may not be having a superstar season, but with 16 ding dongs already it's no bust neither. Sure, Eric Byrnes has a better OPS and a full run up on C-Belts' RC/27 (my stat of choice), but let me just tell all you doubters and nay sayers this: Carlos Beltran's mole has a dick, and it's dick is bigger than your dick.
Up next is our Yuppie Gatorade shilling 3rd baseman
Lets see how D Wright fares agsint his main compition, Larry Jones and Miguel Cabrera, in OPS+ and RC/27
Wright: 135, 7.26
Miggy: 158, 7.90
Larry: 168, 8.66
OK - not as good, but certinaly not bad either. Plus when you factor in defense, and the fact that Larry is an injury-prone pederast and Miggy is a fat fucking shit, I think the choice is clear.
Finally, Jose Reyes, whose only realy comp at SS is Hanley Ramirez. They're stats match up liek this
Jose Jose Jose: 123, 6.89
Handjob Ramrearses: 148, 7.94
Well, I dunno, tough shit Hanley, Reyes plays in a better market. If it's such a big fucking deal to you then ask to be traded to better town you fucking baby.
The only real snub this year would be John Maine, who is 4th in the NL ERA and tied for 1st in the league with 10 wins. Also when he takes a piss it's even funnier when he says he's gotta go 'drain the Maine vein.'
So lets hope that miserbale bastard Hoffman doesnt blow it again this year!


Rory B. Bellows said...

Btw- I assume y'alls already saw this:

Apparenty D.Wright's taking home $20MM from the sale of Vitamin Water to Coke. Damn man...

Also, thank you to Tony LaRussa for not inserting Pujols into the game in the 9th tonight. F**K YOU VERY MUCH, TONY.

Dave Magadan said...

I'm glad our dick jokes ensure nobody ever reads this thing.

Ken Dynamo said...

think of it this way, DM; how many mets blogs are there that give hack arm chair GM opinions? and how many are there that also revel in abundant dick, fart, poop, pee, gay, racial, pedaphilial and other assorted sophmoric jokes? advantage: GMDB.