Monday, May 12, 2008

The Devil wears Martin Prado

I just watched The Devil Wears Prada on HBO and found the movie completely underwhelming. I'll tell you more about after I get pumped up with some good ol' fashioned American industrial metal. Put on your viking helmets and start swinging your sledgehammers, its Al Jourgenson and Ministry!

Unfortunately Ministry never did a real video for Deity so instead we have to settle for some wierdo's high school AV class project. You can also listen to some of the live versions on youtube but I wouldn't recommend it.

If I had to pick a favorite Ministry album it would definitely be a tie between The Land of Rape and Honey and The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste. Ho ho!

Anyway, back to the Devil Wears Prada. I found the whole thing to be devastatingly retarded (surprise, surprise). First, there's the whole premise of the roman a clef turned motion picture. "Oh no, my boss is a total mega-bitch. I'm going to totally expose her bitchiness in my seriously bitchin' novel. Yeah, I'm so awesome. Bitches."

The central thesis of the movie revolved around the idea that you were supposed to feel bad for this Andy Sachs character, but this was predicated on the total horseshit notion that when running a business, everyone must be incredibly nice and pleasant to each other at all times. Furthermore, we should all be shocked that a business woman actually fucks people over to increase both her personal power and fortune. If this Miranda person was a guy he'd just look like a ruthlessly efficient titan of industry instead of a heartless and petty monstrosity.

What's that you say? But Miranda didn't let Emily go to PARIS??? Oh god, the horror!!! Who fucking cares about fucking Paris? Learn to deal with disappointment you dumb slut. Suck it up and do your job or fucking quit.

Compounding my viewing displeasure was the movie's intimate focus on the fashion industry, a billion dollars a year enterprise that could not be more stunningly worthless. At one point, Miranda's character goes on about the color of Andrea's ugly sweater to show how the fashion industry affects us all, whether we like it or not. So fucking what? Fashion is still the most useless waste of time and resources since the Springfield Monorail. Clothes exist to to keep people warm and to stop them from being naked. Any additional significance assigned to them beyond those basic utilities is purely masturbatory.

But thats when I had the epiphany that allowed me to tangentially link The Devil Wears Prada to baseball and a potential GMDB post. What dawned on me was that sports, a billion-dollar a year business, was as equally useless to the world as fashion, and my bewilderment with the fashion business was analogous to a non-sports fashion puzzlement with the degree of enthusiasm and excitement us sports fans get from following our favorite team.

You can justify this obsessions anyway you want, but at some point you come to the fact that your just indulging yourself in pointless, nonsensical distractions, whether your predilections include sports, or fashion, or any other silly topic used to sell magazines.

I guess the point I'm really trying to make is this: I went to high school with Anne Hathaway, the co-star who plays Andrea Sachs and I saw her bewbs in another movie called Havoc. S0 now thats TWO girls I went to high school with whose bewbies I've seen.

You too can see Anne's tetons. Check it out.

Yeah, score.

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