Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Now is when all the effing eagles must effing die

Some sports fans like it when their rivals get "good" playoff match ups, and say things like, "You know fellow Giants fans, this is going to be a tough game with the Eagles, but we beat a lot of good teams last year, and always on the road. And with this classic match up, you wouldn't want it any other way would you?"

Fuck yeah I would! Fuck the fucking Eagles. Fuck spelling out the name of your team in a cheer, fuck the color green and fuck McNabb, Brian Westbrook, DeSean Jackson and every other cockbiting asshole on that team that I can't stand.

I hope bad things happen to the Eagles. I hope their bus break down on the way up thier turnpike. I hope they get food poisoning, I hope they stub their toes, I hope their trainer accidentally knocks a bottle of liquid heat onto their jocks a la Revenge of the Nerds. And do you want to know why? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM TO FUCKING WIN NEXT WEEK.

So most of all, I hope Arnold Schwarzenegger puts on a ridiculous yellow and gray jumpsuit and hunts down every Philadelphia Eagle, summarily executing them in increasingly elaborate and cartoonishly violent ways.


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