Tuesday, June 5, 2007

If A-Rod Gets This Man-Beast What Chance Do the Rest of Us Have?

Before we get to the exhibit, let me first give the following breakdown:

Salary: A-Rod- $27MM/year until 2010 (unless he opts out) vs. Rory- significantly less than $27MM/year (but I have no binding contract, thus I can leave at will)- EDGE- SLIGHT-EDGE A-ROD

Looks: A-Rod- "I'm good-looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team." vs. Rory- "Uhh- I'm not quite as ugly as John Matuszak, I'm uni-racial, I make the least money in my company, I work at an unpopular company." EDGE- A-ROD

Personality: A-Rod- generally acknowledged as an all-around douchebag, no longer has sleepovers with Jeter, mostly disliked among the media and his teammates vs. Rory- mostly liked among his friends, has no media following, but often has sleepovers at his "friends" apartments. EDGE- RORY

Overall Attractiveness Edge: A-ROD

So if A-Rod gets this: Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
What chance do the rest of us have? Come on A-Rod, even if you're attracted to her at least go for Jessica Alba or Elisha Cuthbert, so that someone like me can get the chick from Ugly Betty.

FYI- What the hell is on the side of Joslyn Morse's left hip here?! Is that some kind of a growth? Perhaps there are side-effects to sleeping with someone who is on steroids? This is an all-around nightmare.

1 comment:

Rory B. Bellows said...

It should be noted that the last link is indeed NSFW!