I was going write about what I think the Mets should do about 2B and C for next season but after an exhaustive 15 minutes of research I've decided we're pretty much effed no matter what we do. The free agent market sucks it the dick this year at every position, but especially at second and catcher.
I was thinking Tadihito Iguchi would be a good underrated guy to sign instead of overrated and kind of sucky Luis Castillo, but it turns out Iguchi sucks too. I was also thinking Michael Barrett would be a good idea since we could 'buy low', but really, buying the 40 OPS+ that he hit during his last 44 games with the Padres is pretty fucking low. I mean we might as well bring Big Pud back for that. No - nevermind - fuck Lo Duca. Alou will be in hell, writing his name in the snow, before I endorse that dickwad.
Of course there are plenty of trade rumors that I could weigh in on, but really, whats the point? No one knows shit right now, and if they did it would mean Omar has too many loose lips and isn't doing his job. If we can swing a deal, great, if not, fuck it. We got lucky in 2006 when Valentin and the Pudster had flukely good years, and when got unlucky in 2007 when those two played like they normally do.
It's a long off season and I'm not going to get all worked up about it now. No, in fact, I've got much bigger fish to fry, mainly, the current writers strike going on in Hollywood. That shit is really gnawing at my soul right now. I mean, what if the strike affects the new season of Entourage. WHAT IF I CAN'T WATCH THAT MAGICAL 30 MINUTES OF ECSTASY THAT SENDS ME INTO A WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD MIRTH AND FAG JOKES!?!?!?!
I'd fucking die, thats what. I can't let that happen. I WON'T let that happen. I will write the scripts myself if I have to, every god damn syllable of that hip and trendy dialog. Sorry Metsies, I can't let Vinnie and my boys down. You'll have to take a back seat for the rest of the off season. For the great good of mankind - Entourage must go on.
More to cum. (HAHAHA LOL That is what Vince would say because he is always either talking about sex or having sex, because he is a rabid sexual maniac, and cum and come are homophones. Wait - ew! Homos! Hah, they would say that too because Ari and Vinnie and his pals are always cracking wise about the gays! Holy shit that is gold. You know, like ARI GOLD?!? haHAH! Fuck my tits this is going to be fun!)