I guess the Phillies think they're all hot shit right now but guess what? They're not.
Hey I just thought of some pretty hilarious jokes about the Phillies. You might recognize them from other places but these are all new and all different because I made them about the Phillies, who are all huge, huge pussies.
What do you call a thousand dead Phillies at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
How do you remove twenty dead Phillies from a garbage can?
With a pitchfork.
Whats the difference between ten bowling balls and ten dead Phillies?
I don't have ten bowling balls in the trunk of my car.
What's the difference between Hitler and a Phillie?
Hitler was also an accomplished artist.
Whats red, white and blue and also a bunch more red smeared all over the place?
A Phillie in a blender.
What do you get when you cross Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Teresa and a Philadelphia Phillie?
A no-good worthless piece of shit.
What did the deaf, blind and crippled Phillie get for Christmas?
So a British guy, a French guy, a Mets fan and a Phillies fan were all flying in a plane. Right in the middle of their flight the pilot turns to all four passengers and says, 'Sorry guys, this plane is going to crash and we've only got one spare parachute. You'll have to decide amongst yourselves who gets it.' So the four guys look at each other until finally the British guy stands up and yells 'God save the Queen!' and jumps out of the plane without a chute. This inspires the French guy who also stands up and says 'Viva La France!' and then also throws himself out of the plane. The Met and Phillie fans both now stare at each other until finally the Mets fan grabs the Phillies fan and screams 'Fuck you, you stupid piece of shit!' and throws the Phillie fan out of the plane. Then he yells out of the plane 'Have fun getting fisted in Hell, motherfucker!'