Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Carlos Beltran is going to kill Cole Hamels. LITERALLY

It's super boring spring training time, which means it's time to trot out the lazy sportswriters hackneyed dip shit mailing-it-in storyfest. You might remember past hits such as "You're favorite shitty player is in the best shape of his life"! and "lame ass taunt of rival team taken lamely out of context"!

What makes Beltrans's comment noteworthy and so much better than the miserable "team to beat" bullshit asshole Jimmy Rollins started 2 fucking years ago is that he said he hopes the Mets kill Cole Hamels. LITERALLY THATS WHAT HE SAID. Carlos Beltran wants Cole Hamels to die and he wants the Mets to kill him.

Recognize muthafucka.

Cole "Fart Ham" Hamels' wife was also in the news recently when she stated "When I was five years old—I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person—they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I've always wanted this."
Good job, Cole. You really know how to pick the ignorant, anorexic, dumbass, attention whores. Have fun with your brood of aids'ed up african orphans, Hamels family. God, want a couple of dumb fucks.

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