This seriously can't wait. Also GMDB site news update

Site news first: I'm planning on consolidating the posts I'm doing from a whenever-I-get-around-to-it schedule to one-super-sweet-awesome-post a week. I'm thinking this dope shit will drop on Tuesdays, because nothing cool happens on Tuesday (NOT YET ANYWAY! HAHA!) and also cause of nostalgia for the old Q104.3's two for Tuesday classic rock blocks. You know what passes for classic rock these days? Nirvana. That's fucking bullshit.

Anyway, the crap that can't wait until later even though I've already posted once today revolves around pop star Katy Perry's excellent Hot N Cold.

First, enjoy the original video.



Katy Perry is smokin hot and sings some totally alright pop songs but I just have this weird feeling that she'd be a real bitch to date. Like, you're trying to decide where to eat one night and you're like, hey, how about Chinese? And she'd be all like You don't want chinese, you hate chinese, no you want to try the new vegan raw bar because you want to start eating healthier. and then when you say no thanks to that she yells I don't understand why you make such a big production out of everything there's no need for that kind of attitude why dont you take some time to think about what you just did! and then she'll stop having sex with you for a week, at least.

I dunno, maybe it's just me.

Right, so, I wrote these amazing fake lyrics to the chorus of Hot N Cold and I just couldn't wait to share them with everyone. Like I literally am not able to do anything else until I type all this out.

HEY! WHY NOT SING ALONG?!

refrain

Cause you're hot then your cold,
Your cock, I grab hold,
You push it up in,
'Round it I will spin.

You're ready to go,
Increase the tempo,
I cum: crescendo,
You play nintendo?

(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(you) But you don't really want to go-o

You mash on my gash,
I twang on your wang,
You jam in my clam,
I rock on your cock,

refrain

Cause I schlob on your knob,
And swallow your balls,
I lick your stiff prick,
Lipstick on your dick,

You rip through my tits,
Explode on my globes,
Grope both my flesh slopes,
Spray your frozen ropes.

(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(you) But you don't really want to go-o

You rub on my nub,
I yank on your crank,
You spluge down my luge,
I squirt on your shirt.

bridge

Cause you've savaged my ass,
Gave you a dirt 'stache,
Don't quit the sick shit,
Spit on my biscuits.

My buns you did spank,
Drank from my piss tank,
Spelunked my pink cave,
Nothing's too depraved.

Now nut on my butt,
And sperm in my perm,
I goad your fat chode,
To blow the whole load.

Now chew my roast beef,
Let your teeth sink deep,
Freak between my cheeks,
Cream on my twin peaks.

(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(you) But you don't really want to go-o

Now plow through my fields,
And zest my orange peels,
Our fluids congeal,
Tenderize my veal.

And.... TOUCHDOWN.