So I forogot that yesterday was Thanksgiving and that I was supposed to make some trite post about how thankful GMDB is for readers and stuff like that. Well that's true, we are, but who the fuck reads this crap for sentimentalities? Pfff!
I would, however, like to thank our creator and Heavenly Father, God Almighty, for continually failing to answer my prayers to smite the Atlanta Braves. Thanks, God. Really, thanks a lot. I'm so glad you haven't yet stricken down the Atlanta fucking Braves in a fury of righteous anger. That's just fucking great. Keep those fuckers around but blow up a couple space shuttles. Yeah, smooth move, GOD. I mean, by all means, don't send a perfect bunch of assholes straight to hell, but assfuck a bunch of do-gooding astronaughts, that makes perfect fucking sense to me! And while I'm at it, thanks a whole fucking lot for making me allergic to dogs. That was REALLY fucking cool of you, God. You're a real fuckin' pal you know that? Canceling Deadwood was probably your idea too, wasn't it? Well thanks a fucking bundle. You really know how to weild that supreme fucking power of yours, God, ye old King of Kings, Lord of Lords and Light of Salvation! HOLY SHIT, I AM SO GOD DAMN THANKFUL YOU ARE UP THERE LOOKING OUT FOR ALL OF US, GOD. SO FUCKING THANKFUL. Being so gracious and merciful, I REALLY hope nothing horrible happens to you, GOD, like, say, your only child getting tortured to death!! That would just break my fucking heart!!!!
*pant, pant, pant*
*siiiiiiigh*
Well then, who wants turkey sandwiches!
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3 comments:
Didn't you know the Braves have Faith day or some such nonsense. The closest thing the Mets have to that is Meringue night where all the unmarried Spanish couples who don't believe in abortion bring their kids.
That was fucking wrong on so many levels.
To be candid, I'm not thankful for a damn thing. It took me a whole week after Thanksgiving to figure that out.
I remember Meringue night. lots of taco flavored kisses.
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