HOF Players Around the AL East

I started thinking today, which current team has the most future Hall of Famers on it, and then thought, "Hmm- I'm hungry. I should order some food." So after eating broccoli with garlic sauce I decided to take a blog-o-riffic run through MLB rosters (but then it took me just under an hour to get through the AL East, so I decided to stop there) and here are my results.

AL East:
Red Sox:
Schilling- IN. He's a sure thing, by virtue of his K total. 213 W, 3.46 ERA, 38pitches.com, 3086 K's/707 BB. I've always liked Schilling, fake-bloody-sock or not. The most interesting/best thing Schilling ever did were his various open letters to the public during the 2002 offseason and after 9/11. Personally I remember that his 2002 letters got posted online about 10 minutes before I had class (Principles of Logic- hey it was a good way to meet underclassmen girls as a junior in college; sadly being the "ace" of a mediocre Division III baseball team didn't impress the ladies as much as say, the base of a kicker's dong.) I printed out his letters cribbed them in my notebook during class and read them while my prof droned on about syllogisms.

Ramirez- IN. 481 HR as of now. He should hit 500 by the end of the year and that's an automatic. Also- he pisses in the Green Monster and went to HS in Washington Heights, which is kinda cool. Thus he's in. More for the pissing than the HR, but either way.

Ortiz- OUT. 244 HR and he's 31 years old. He'd have to go on an HR tear akin to what Bonds did after Balco/Anderson/Steroids/etc...

Blue Jays:
Thomas- IN. 500 HR

Yankees:
Clemens- IN. Unfortunately.

Rivera- IN. 423 Saves, and he's been just an all-around stud for his whole career.

Pettitte- OUT. I say he's got a shot though. 190 wins, 35 years old. He'd need to pitch for a LOOOOOOONG time, but it's not completely out of the question. Hopefully, the Lord will keep him healthy and pitching for the Evil Empire for years to come.

Mussina- OUT. But another guy with a shot. 243 wins, 38 years old. Looks like he needs 5 years to get to 300 wins, and I don't think he has 5 years left.

Posada- OUT. Nuff said here.

Giambi- OUT. 357 HR, 36 y/o. Looks to me like he's going to need 4-5 years to reach 500 HR, and I don't think he's going to get there.

Damon- OUT. 2019 H, 33 y/o. He'll need 7 healthy years to get to 3000, and I don't think he's got that in him.

A-Rod- IN. 492 HR 31 y/o. This guy's just awesome

Jeter- IN. 2255 H, 33 y/o. Also, he's from Pequannock, NJ so that's worth a few votes from the BBWAA.

Baltimore:
Tejada- OUT. 1671 H, 247 HR, 31 y/o. I don't think he's going to hit any of the magic numbers.

Tampa:
Crawford- OUT. 896 H, 25 y/o.

Kazmir- OUT. 27 W, 23 y/o.

The Cheap Way

Having never had a no-hitter in team history, is it too much to ask for our starter to pitch 5 no-hit innings to be immediately followed by El Nino, thereby securing at least a cheap, but official, no-hitter for the Metsies? Great job tonight Glavine, pitching 6 innings of one-hit complete game shuout ball. You ruined the best chance we're going to have.

GMDB LIVE BLOG

We are so web 2.0

5:42 - i hear live blogging is pretty popular and marks your arrival to the sports blogosphere. I doubt that'll work for us here at GMDB but it's worth a shot. I'll be watching the mets v redbirds on ESPN tonight (right after I finish this viewing of Nick of Time). and drinking. first frosty beevo, down the hatch.

6:03 - live blogging is fucking boring

6:08 - Shine man is the hero!!!!

6:10 - this song gets rocks harder every fucking time I listen to it.

6:11 - game time is not getting hear fast enough, i'm going to a bar.

8:23 - that rain delay really fit in nicely with my plans

8:25 - fuck you cardinals

8:26 - fuck you rolen

8:27 - fuck you bennet

8:28 - fuck you miles

8:29 - fucking piece of shit miles

8:31 - wow this is really fun but im going back to the bar.

11:42 - wow what a terrible time. im never live blogging again.

Of the beverages not banned from the Cardinals clubhouse

The Cardinals franchise clearly had an alcohol problem, so it was a wise move when management banned alcoholic beverages from the clubhouse. So what will the Redbirds use to toast victory should they go on another improbable run in 2007 and become the shittiest team to ever win a world series?

Probably they same thing they were drinking when they became the shittiest team to ever win a world series last year.

Clown Town Beat Down

Lo Duca was suspended for 2 games for for his temper tantrum last Saturday during the Athlesticles game. He'll appeal and end up missing only one game. Lo Duca chalked the whole thing up to his "good Italian temper."

Here is what I chalk it up to:

Big Pud is an insufferable clown and I am sick of his bullshit. He is a disgrace to Italian culture, which really is saying a lot when you think about it. If you can look at this asshole and see anything but a mornic ass hat then you are also retarded.

I still begrudgingly root for the Pudster when he's playing but I'm sorry to say that he is an over rated joke and this little episode was the last straw for me. If this waste of sperm and egg is back next year, me and Omar are going to have problems.

Welcome to Broomtown!

The A's found out the hard way what happens when your team name sounds a little like "Braves" and you come to Queens!


BROOMTOWN! Starring Paul "Fearless" LoDuca, David McWright, Officer Willie Randolph, and Detective Carlos Beltran!

BREAKING NEWS!

Jon Heyman (Nice Shot) reports that Barry Zito may cost more to sign than the Mets are willing to spend.

It could be worse

You could be Fappy the Seal.

I'd rather we weren't playing like total pussies too, but it's never as bad as it seems.

Check out this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this and this.

Unrelated tangent - KSK posted a true story about my friend's encounter with Ben Roethlisberger at a Vegas craps table a few years ago. Alas, no link to GMDB.

Mini-Preview

Mets- Oliver Perez is coming off a spectacular 8+ IP 0 R performance against the Yanks. Remember that one? Seems like the last time the Mets actually won a game, right? Perez has been spectacular all year, and again, there's no reason to expect otherwise tonight. Personally I'm hoping he throws all sidearm just to f**k with Rick "10 Minutes" Peterson.

Twins- Who the f**k is Scott Baker?

Comic Relief

So I was at an Alan Shemper comedy show in the Catskills and Shemper started riffing on Julio "Nebuchadnezzar" Franco. It was pretty hilarious. You can read it below and hopefully it'll brighten your day as it did mine and you'll put the Drano cocktail back in the fridge to save for later.

"Julio Franco is so old, for breakfast he used to eat pterodactyl eggs and raptor bacon."

"Julio Franco didn't have pianos because it was so long ago... he had harpsicords, and his DJ was Johann Sebastian Bach!"

"When Julio Franco was a kid, his favorite activity was always arts and crafts. Or, as we used to call it: arts and farts and crafts. He used to make drawings... cave drawings! (Which is my way of saying he was a cave man)"

"Julio Franco is so old, he can remember saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones' and meaning it!"

"Julio Franco's first best friend hadn't fully evolved yet! His name was Ug and he walked on all fours!"

"There were two epidemics when Julio Franco first made the majors: head lice, and the plague - the Bubonic plague!"

"Julio Franco started playing baseball so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ was his first coach!"

"Julio Franco started playing baseball so long ago, that it was the Stone Age. No, but seriously, it wasn't the stone age... it was the Ice Age! No, really, it was the Stone Age. "

Please Beat the Yankees

Not so much because I dislike the Yankees, but solely because the Mets need to win in the worst way. Please Ollie, Ollie, Ollie!

Oh Please Make It Stop

Who can lose 9 out of 10 and still be in first place?
This is getting to be about as fun as watching Timo Perez try to score on a double off the top of the wall.