F you! S my F'ing D!

I'm not pissed at anything actually, I was just thinking of 'Get in the Ring' by Guns and F'in Roses.

What a fun band they were (emphasis on were. yes im talking to you Axl, you hermaphroditic freakshow).

So here's what I'm thinkin:

- Johan Santana is my new Bro... han Santana.

- Clemens neither is nor deserves to be considered innocent until proven guilty in the court of public opinion. He is a prick. Fuck him. He tried to assassinate Mike Piazza with a deadly shard of a wood and needs to be injected in the butt by McNamee with a deadly, deadly poison. Clemens, you cock ass. You fucking dick bite.

- Will Leitch is promoting his book in Georgetown in the coming month or so and I'm going to see if he'll autograph it "Yadier Molina is a buttfucking sonofabitch".

- Who the fuck is Tony Armas Jr?

- I once shook hands with David Wright and hence my entire body has been turned to solid gold.

- Shawn Green, Big Pud and Tom "Quisling" Glavine are off the payroll this year. That is awesome. When they're all old and decrepit men (so like, 5 years) I'd like to take them all on a vacation to the Grand Canyon to thank them for their service to the Metropolitan baseball club and then roll their wheel chairs off a cliff.

- I still want to heckle Ryan Church.

- The New York Football Giants are the Supreme Overlords of all that is gridirons and pigskins and basking in their Glorious Triumph of Touchdowns and Extra Points will be the only thing that carries me through these cold dark days of sports hibernation.

- Go beers.