THE BRAVES ARE ELIMINATED!!!

Yea!!!!! The Braves are done! Allright everybody, time to party! Woo hoo! Hey! Wait, what? Huh? No wait, where is everybody going? You mean? Ah man....

Crapoloa.

Braves Lose - magic elmination number at 1

trying to focus on the positive from last night.

here, watch this clip. it gets really good at the 3 minute mark.

Have Mercy

Have we actually dipped to rooting for the B****s this week?

If only Dynamo would get his cavity out of Nats territory and back up here to Sheaville, maybe we'd pull this one out with slightly less drama. What kind of northerner who doesn't work in the politico lives in the vicinity of the District?

More idiots

These jagovs are all over the place.

I guess I am really just jealous. I would like to round up 75 fuck ups, go to philly and piss everyone off by acting like dipshits. Unfortunately no in philly would notice.

Whats amazing is that even more pathetic sports fans out there exist.

Read.

I am stunned.

Penultimate pro baseball game at RFK

I went to RFK last Saturday to dutifully cheer on the Nats as they attempted to slow the Phillies' General Sherman like march to overtake the Mets atop the NL East. It went into extra innings and thankfully we left at the end of 9 so we didn't have to bare witness to the abject buffoonery that surely ensued given all the simpletons from Philadelphia that were in town. Phillie fans were all over the stadium, and maybe they weren't all there to be total douches, but we had the great fortune of buying cheap upper deck seats next to where some superstar decided it would be a good idea who organize a road trip for asshole Philly fans.


I've circled the morons for clarity but because I took the picture on my shitty shitty camera phone its tough to make out what a debacle these clowns were causing. Lots of cursing, middle fingers, stupid Rollins M-V-P chants and what not. The very bottom of Philadelphian society on display in our nations capital.

Not that I have a problem with heckling or being a drunk dickhead at a baseball game. But 1) fuck Philadelphia and 2) it was poor form. They were basically taking advantage of the pathetic crowds the Nationals draw. Not that Shea is a particularly intimidating stadium but you really couldn't get away with that shit anywhere else. Maybe in Florida, but then these slobs would have had to sell their time shares in Wildwood, NJ for airfare.

And I'm also bitter that I was too big of a pussy to pretend to be a Philly fan and get pictures with the the whole clan, especially the shirtless, stomach tatoo'd ringleader who probably has the most depressing life of anyone I've ever had the chance to meet. Oh well, I can still find plenty of slapdicks who spend 40% of their monthly income on sports jersey at Redskins games.

I'll take it

heres what 5 on the final countdown would have been.

it's a jack handy bit. go to hell phillies.

bloody kisses

finally updated the final countdown as a result of Wednesday's win. Planned on using it a week ago. It's from Type O Negative T-shirt. It supposed to be what Braves fans should do because theyre team was supposed to be so far out of it. Now... shit i dunno, maybe its not the best pic for Mets fans right now. god motherfucking dammit.

'Shea Stadium' not sweating it

Lets see how stupidly pseudonymed GMDB'er Shea Stadium is dealing with the Mets slump while over on the peninsular nation of Korea.





Joe seems to be coping just fine.

So can you believe how much I am in heaven?

Pedro says if he gets hurt again it's "Hasta la vista madrefuckers!"

That's great Pedro, I need to think about you getting hurt right now like I need a prostate exam from a crab person. Well thanks but no thanks Petey, I'd rather think about you riding around on a motorcycle killing the dick out of anything that gets in your way with a pump action smith & wesson.

I wrote this over on Avenue on how else I am coping. I love Amazin Avenue, especially how you can write whatever you want on the side and it looks like you're part of a legit mets blog, as opposed to this turd.

Anyway, screw Pedro's Arnold quote, this one is way awesomer: "It is as satisfying to me as coming is — you know, as having sex with a woman and coming. So can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am, like, getting the feeling of coming in the gym. I'm getting the feeling of coming at home. I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up. When I pose out in front of 5,000 people I get the same feeling. So I'm coming day and night."

HOOF HEARTED

ICE MELTED.

I know who farted, the Mets. They have been laying stinky wet farts all week.

Arts and farts and crafts

The Braves recent decent into crapitude and the Phils' emergence as a legitimate adversary in the last couple years is heralding a new order in the NL East. With it, several questions arise regarding to whom among rivals and how Mets fan should apply their hatred. Luckily for me, my reservoir of hatred is vast and nearly unlimited. My malice and indignation is doled out where appropriate (die Atlantards, die Philasmellphians). Mere contempt and pity is reserved for less formidable opponents (ie the sad sacks in SoFla and the Federal City).

Obviously, Atlanta remains my P.E. #1. But should current trends continue, might they be knocked of their perch atop my pillar of scorn? Not likely. At least not for a while. So does that mean that i can't get pumped up for the the upcoming series and the chance to bury Phillies and send their Divisional Championship aspiration directly to hell?

Fuck no.

J-Roll, Burrell et al can eat shit and die. If I had artistic talent beyond the realm of MS Paint I would create works of art like my man Sal Iovine all god damn day.

Look at that masterpiece. The man is a genius. If I had art in my house it would like this. Not some Ansel Adams photograph of snow on a tree or whatever. What do you want to see in your house when you come home, some fucking Yak hanging out by a waterfall or this:

I hope Wilpon is commissioning this virtuoso to paint some murals in the new CitiField, I truly do.

Two steps closer to oblivion

By taking the series 2-1 (evening the season series at 9-9) the Mets drop the Braves Magic Elimination number down to 8. Neither the Metsies nor Bravos play today so that number will stand until late Friday night.

That's Mega Man in the picture for # eight, though you may know him as Rockman. The dude is dressed up because he's at a concert called Video Games Live, where a symphony orchestra plays a bunch of music from video games. Funny story behind the picture: I saw that guy in costume when I caught the Video Games Live show at the Kennedy Center. You don't think that's funny? Try telling someone you saw a symphony of video game music with Mega Man. They will laugh in your face. Trust me.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

New feature here at GMDB. You can find Mets Magic Number Countdowns all over the innernets, but as far as I know this is the only Braves Elimination Number Countdown. Check it out on the side bar. Any combination of Mets wins or Braves losses equal to the magic elimination number and the Braves are out of the divisional pennent race. In today's picture is our once and sometimes contributor Shea Stadium. He's standing next to what I can only presume is the ANAL stop in the New York City Subway. I can't find it on any station listings but obviously it is real. Man, New York really does have everything.

So suck it, Braves.

Also I don't know about you but I can't hear the words 'final countdown' without thinking about GOB.

WE IZ TEH NOOKULER BOMBZ

I know you've seen it but I wanted to get one more post out of this pic this year. We have a chance to completely obliterate the Bravos playoff chances AND take the season series (currently at 7-8). So lets put the hammer down, or as I like to say, fuck the Atlanta Braves, fuck them up their stupid asses.

Only 1 NY team may beat a TX team in major professional sports per week

Apparently thats a rule I was unaware of. That rule also sucks. While it was fantastic for the Mets to sweep the moribund Asscaketros, my beloved G-Men could not similarly get the job down against the stupid, idiotic, buttheaded Cowgirls of Irving, Texas. Texas is such dumb, racist state. I went to Texas once and saw some guy racing armadillos. What kind of fucking retarded shit is that?

OK - so this is going to be the second terrible post in a row, apologies. Long weekend and whatever and shit. And I promise not to turn this into a half Giants blog either but I couldn't help myself this time and besides I am not the only one doing it.

Anyway, check how awesome the Mets are doing.

Time to go Enron on the Asstros

I don't know much about the 'Stros except that they are about to get pummeled and they had some guys one their team nicknamed the 'Killer Bees', one of whom was Derek 'i used to live in a houseboat, now i smoke crack' Bell.

Killer Bees. Weak.

here are the only Killa Beez I'll recognize.


This is what Ghostface Killah had to say about the Mets v Stros :

Hey fool you ready for another beating
You should have never came back
Look here man after I crucify him, you next!
And you better have a good doctor to rearrange your face
I'm the Champ!

I'd cut and paste more lyrics but I don't really feel comfortable dropping n-bombs like.

Braves on long march of mediocrity

I stole that headline directly form this AJC article. Sounds about right to me.

Son of a beach

I'm back, football is back, the mets are still in first. Life is good, despite my beach vacation being over.

I don't have much to add today, just wanted to get a post in after a refreshing holiday. I think since no one else does, i'll give out my patented, 5/6 of the season awards out.

Official Boner 8===D of 5/6 of the Season: Paul Lo Duca. Screw off big pud.
Official the Tits ( . )( . ) of 5/6 of the Season: David Wright. How could anyone have ever doubted the dreamy D-Dubs?
Official butt hole ( * ) of 5/6 of the season: David Newhan. God that guy sucks.

That's all the vulgar emoticons I know of so I'm done.

This Is For Ken And Rory

Great job tonight Paulie walnuts.

Pre-Flight Update

The Mets just completed their three game sweep of the Braves, and since I haven't uploaded any pictures yet, nor fully organized my thoughts on the Mets/Rory B. Bellows' 2-city road trip, I'll give you a quick Atlanta Hit List.

-Turner Field- quite a nice stadium. Lots of parking, cheap tickets (comparable to value games at Shea), ornery fans (but I would be ornery too if my team just got swept to essentially end their season) and good southern BBQ food options for carnivores. Vegetarians can choose amongst standard ballpark fare (pretzels, nachos, etc...) and one sit-down restaurant with Caesar salad. But vegetarians are homos anyway, so who cares about them. They should all burn at the stake (ed. note. Mr. B. Bellows is an occasional veg aka selectatarian and has tongue firmly planted in his left cheek here).

-ATL restaurants. Lots of good inexpensive options here. Of special note is The Varsity (http://www.thevarsity.com/). The world's largest drive-in restaurant. Serving delicious grease-bombs 24 hours a day. There are also very high-end restaurants, for which one should consult Zagat, but for standard American fast-food this is the best I've ever had.

-Appalachian St over Michigan. Ok- this isn't on the Atlanta or GMDB topic, but I felt it was worthy of mention. Thank you to the Westin-Peachtree for having that game... oh wait a minute... they didn't, nor did the Hooters across the street. Thank you to Google text for updating me on scores!

-METS SWEEP! Great pitching all 3 nights, and timely hitting. But jesus f-ing christ, can we PLEASE stop making dumb outs on the bases. Ruben Gotay and Big Pud, I'm looking your way!

-Dragon*con (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon_Con) That is going on right now in downtown Atl. It is completely bizarre. I'm not even close to comprehending, but perhaps RockYourFace has some insight? Since I also don't understand him, I can only assume that he has knowledge of this "gaming convention."

-Georgia Aquarium. This is, allegedly, the largest aquarium in the US, and is right across from the World of Coca-Cola (small Coke-themed commercial-like amusement park), and is probably worth a visit. My favorite attraction was the beluga whales.

-Did I mention the METS SWEEP?! DIE BRAVES!!!!